LeMons Rally Challenge To All Journalists

Lemons Rally

As the weather gets nice, my thoughts return to the winter rally of the 24 Hours of LeMons. I want to officially issue a LeMons Rally challenge to my fellow automotive journalists to participate next year. I think it’s a fun and adventurous way to experience the joy of driving, the perils of driving something old, and the camaraderie of fellow enthusiasts while engaging in friendly competition.

Last year did not go so well for the Volvo project on the rally. We broke down constantly, and ended up out of the rally on day two. So I know the down side to this type of event, too.

Roadkill’s Missing Linc parked next to Ike, and his car appeared in the episode. Will they return for more?

I want to lay down some ground rules to make it fun and fair for all who will be joining in this competition. We will be using the LeMons Rally scoring system as our primary method of scoring. I want to make this fair as possible because some of our challengers will be building their vehicle (like I am), and some will be buying or bringing something they already have (like Justin’s Smyth Ute, which should be completed by then). So to be clear, you don’t have to build, you don’t have to buy, and you can bring a car that you already have. There is no maximum budget for the vehicle brought, but the LeMons scoring system will not give you a ton of points for anything too nice.


  • +60 for finishing the day
  • +10-150 for optional checkpoints and challenges en route
  • +0-150 for creative roadside repairs
  • + / – 0-150 for tickets and arrests (how good’s your story?)

Who Made Your Hooptie?

  • -50 for Japanese
  • -20 for German (but +50 for German diesel)
  • +100 for Italian
  • +125 for French
  • +150 for English
  • +250 for Warsaw Pact

When Did They Make It?

  • +75 for 1980s
  • +100 for 1970s
  • +170 for 1960s
  • +200 for 1950s
  • +250 for pre-1950

How Butt-Turrible Is It?

  • +0-66 for hooptieness of marque & model
  • +0-66 for hooptieness of this particular example
  • +0-66 for hooptieness of driver & passenger

Deductions & Additions

  • -2500 for showing up in a press loaner
  • -250 for wearing Pilotis
  • +300 for bringing a Beetle-pan kit car
  • +50 for Designer Edition (Bill Blass, Givenchy, Levi’s, etc)
  • -300 for using phrase “double apex”
  • +70 for best YouTube post of the day
  • -0-900 for being a general douchenozzle
  • +0-100 for junkyard parts gained en route
  • +0-250 for ridiculous themes &/or outfits
More terrible entries from this past winter.

In addition to the standard LeMons Rally points, I want to add a few categories of competition for us journalists.

  • -10 points for each breakdown.
  • +250 for eating the most difficult food to eat while driving. An independent adjudicator will be chosen to judge this.

I also leave the floor open to each competitor to add a challenge to the list.

So who would you like to see compete against Right Foot Down and The Untitled Car Show? Drop me an email or hit me up on Twitter.

  1. Ike, I’m still down to co-drive the NISMO Volvo, can’t wait! We need to bring someone to sit in the back and serve us hard to eat food. Dressed in a tux.

  2. I intend to argue for half off the -20 German car penalty because the Smyth Ute kit is made in the USA and built in my driveway!

    1. I am thinking that if I would enter, I would like to take advantage of the “most difficult food to eat while driving ” bonus…

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